Chaos! That’s the only way I can describe my life of late. If I am a regular visitor to your blog, my apologies, what with a trip over Easter, my son’s birthday, THAT wedding (no, I didn’t go but I stayed up way too late) and family visiting for the last two weeks, everything else has suffered.

We’re also gearing up for Sixth Grade graduation which seems to involve endless requests for photos, dedications, donations and form filling for parties, year books and videos.

Not only that! We’re getting ready to start a new school with meetings, tours and again lots of form filling.

I have to take along a translator in the form of Danny for these meetings. I’ve mastered sophomore, junior, etc but there’s always something thrown into the mix that I don’t know. And I don’t want to immediately establish myself as the annoying mother who asks obvious questions that everyone else knows the answers to.

I’m holding back on the PTA at the moment, assessing the lay of the land. There were parents desperate to register their need to be a part of it. I like to let them take the lead and come in trailing at the back.

Last night we sat and listened to new teachers telling us about the school, all capped off with some very happy cheerleaders. At some point, I’ll get used to them. I pray that I’ll get used to them because they’re going to be part of our school lives for the next eight or so years.

As we sat in the huge auditorium, I couldn’t help feeling as though I was watching an American film unfold in front of me. High School life has been so well documented in films and television, it’s hard to escape those images.

So, onward and upward to Middle School or as I like to think of it Rydell High or William McKinley High School, it’s definitely not Hogwarts!

I’ll be up at 2am next Friday morning, blearily trying to focus my eyes and see whether Kate Middleton’s dress is good enough, on trend, worthy of a future Queen, will please the fashionistas, give a nod to Diana and basically make every single person watching happy.  Not too much to ask.

Having recently returned from Australia, I’m so envious of their time difference to the UK.  The Aussies are planning Friday night drinks around the event, how cool is that?  I’d love to be pouring a glass of wine and criticizing everyone’s outfits as they enter the Abbey.  With our time difference, I’ll probably be horizontal on the sofa, in my pajamas, trying not to fall asleep.  I’ll also be alone since no one else in this household has any desire to watch the Wedding of the Century with me in the middle of the night.

The Australians seemed quite excited about it all, which I was surprised about.  There were several television channels promoting their coverage and even Dame Edna Everage popping up to do live commentary.  Now that would be something to see.  Or perhaps not!

Doubtless BBC America will screw up the coverage somehow.  They’ve promised they’ll be broadcasting it, but I wonder if it’ll be the same quality as the rugby, so blurry you can hardly see the ball being passed.

So then do I watch BBC News online?  Or give myself over to full on American coverage and experience it from a totally different point of view?  I think I may channel hop to see who’s doing the best job.

Either way, I’ve decided that I will get up.  I do want to see the dress.  And this is one thing we do do well.  We’re dead good at a bit of pomp depending on the circumstance.

Maybe we can all remind ourselves of the wonderful Royal Wedding when it’s 2012, athletes are descending upon the East of London and the chaos that will doubtless ensue.

Is the Olympic Countdown Clock in Trafalgar Square working yet?!

Heaven is a bacon sandwich in the sunshine.

We’re spending Spring Break in Australia and today leave the glorious Great Barrier Reef to head down to Sydney.

I love the British influence but it’s made me realize how shallow I am. I need very little to make me happy:

1. A really good bacon sandwich.

2. Cadburys chocolate in various forms easily available.

3. Sunshine.

That’s it.

I told you I was shallow!

I’ve been watching a lot more of CNN recently due to all the terrible events happening around the globe.  It’s not my favourite station and I don’t watch it by choice but when I want a quick, immediate update, it seems to be the only option.  I also watch BBC World News America, but that’s only on once a day rather than the constant streaming of news.

I can’t stand the sensationalist style in which CNN delivers the news.  Granted, they’ve been covering awful news items but their questions seem to make the situation worse.  They almost try and anticipate risks that aren’t even there and events that haven’t even happened.

I’m wondering what it will be like on the day of the Royal Wedding.   How will they cope with delivering the news without the drama?

The CNN anchors will probably be firing questions at their London correspondents, anticipating what could go wrong.

I think it will be something like this…

That building they’re going into for the ceremony, I think it’s a church, maybe an abbey?  Isn’t it really old?  What are the risks involved?  Could it fall down?  What sort of damage could there be if it fell down and how many people would it hurt?  Could London cope with the impact a large building, such as this, falling to the ground and causing death and injury?

The Royal Couple are just leaving the ceremony.  Tell us about that coach they’re about to step into?  Isn’t it really old?  I believe it’s over 100 years old.  Surely, the wood must be rotten by this point.  What are the risks involved?  Could a wheel fall off?  Could a horse suddenly freak out because of the large crowds?  And if the horse did freak out, what would that do to the carriage?  Would it flip over?  And if it did flip over, would it smash into pieces or remain in one solid piece?

I believe their choice of lunch is chicken. Now, there are bones in chicken.  Is there a risk of choking during the reception?  The whole of the Royal Family is eating that chicken, do we think that’s a bad choice?  Could they have eaten a salad instead?  There are less risks, it’s easier to eat.  You have the Queen of England sitting there, do you really want her eating something as risky as chicken bones?

As they make their way onto the balcony of Buckingham Palace to wave to the crowds, I can’t help thinking, is that safe?  How many people can it hold?  It’s very high up, if it gave way, what is the possibility of them plunging to the ground?  And, if they did plunge to the ground, do you think they would survive that?  And it they did survive that, what sort of injuries would they sustain?

As they head off to the evening reception, I’m concerned about the dancing.  Kate Middleton may be wearing heels, if her now husband spins her too quickly, what are the chances of her twisting her ankle, falling over and then possibly breaking her ankle?  And if she does break her ankle, what sort of follow up treatment and recuperation are we looking at?

If Kate Middleton then goes on her honeymoon with a broken foot what impact will that have on the holiday?  We don’t know where they are going or what they will be doing, but let us try and work out what the impact will be.

I think you get the idea!

And boy, do I miss BBC.

I was Texas Lorna for a few days last weekend, not quite as catchy but great fun was had by all.  I love Austin; it has a fantastic vibe.  We were there for the SXSW festival and enjoyed the parties and seeing friends.  My liver, however, is quite please to be home.

This time, we’d taken the boys so I decided to see what else Austin had to offer.  I just about survived the Duck Tour, with the boys delighted to be handed quackers to blow as we boarded the vessel, me, not so much!  We didn’t have much time there so I thought a quick tour and a launch into a lake would give a quick introduction to the city.  My favourite part was driving by a golf course.  The driver made everyone blow their quackers just as a guy was about to tee off.  He screwed up his shot and shook his fist at us.  I’m still laughing about it now, it was like something from a film. I know, I know, not very mature.

We also headed out to the Austin Rodeo.  I was so excited to experience a real, proper rodeo with cowboys and cattle, sunshine and barbecue.

The general area of the rodeo was a little disappointing.  It’s probably from watching films, but I expected the rodeo to be on a ranch with lots of cattle and hay bales.  I had skipped breakfast in anticipation of some genuine, delicious Texas barbecue.  The outside of the main arena was just a state fair really.  We have a fair here in Orange County once a year.  A traveling fair shows up with dodgy rides and terrible fried food and that’s what the rodeo was.

That said two wristbands for endless rides and a deep fried Oreo later and the boys were in heaven.

I’d pre-booked tickets to the Xtreme Bull Riding, the main event of the day.  And let me tell you, I only bought our tickets a few days before and the event was practically sold out.  It was fascinating watching a completely different culture, I just sat in the stands and people watched.  This was a big event for the Austin community.  As the stadium went dark for the start of the show, lasers and fireworks blasted off and then flames lined the edge of the arena.  The cowboys, about 30 of them in all, lined up along the length of the flames.  The announcer then led the stadium in prayer.  Some cowboys took a knee, all bowed their heads.  The prayer asked not for winning or championships, just to keep the riders safer.  I have to say, I was swept away by the romance of it all.

The bulls seem to know the routine, leap out of the pen, jostle around a bit, throw off the cowboy  and then run back into the pen.  We were near the pens where the bulls were kept before they leapt into the area, it was fascinating to watch it all take place.  I just needed a friendly cowboy to sit next to me and explain the logistics!  I had many questions to ask and keep meaning to read up more about it.  Clearly, there are a lot of rules and regulations to bull riding!  I should have just sidled up to one of these guys, I’m sure they’d have appreciated my enquiries.

Frankly, it looks quite easy, I don’t know what all the fuss was about:

I find it fascinating that there are so many cultures within the United States and really not that far away from one another.  Here in California we’re surrounded by surf dudes and yet a couple of states over and it’s cowboy boots and hats.  This country truly has a rich culture, I think people underestimate that sometimes.  It’s so much more than hamburgers and ‘Have a nice day!’

My very best friend from primary school was called Vicky. We were inseparable due to our love of Girl’s World and midnight feasts. Now, years later after living in different countries, marriages, children, etc we’re friends on Facebook.

Vicky is about to humiliate herself on national television. I’m not sure of the exact plot of the programme but it’s on CBBC this Thursday at 5.45pm and it’s called Gimme A Break.

Vicky’s children have chosen a holiday for their parents and they have to go along with it and what their children want to do.

I don’t know what happens but I have noticed a wetsuit and Norfolk mentioned in her status updates!

Just remember, if Vicky looks cool, we were best friends in school. If Vicky makes a fool of herself, we haven’t seen one another for years!

How terrific that Vicky’s children applied for the show and how lucky are they that they have parents cool enough to agree to do it.

Will someone please record it and put it on YouTube? Bloody BBC won’t give me access.

Hope you enjoy the show!

I love my blog.  It’s where I pour my heart out.  I don’t spend time looking at analytics or visitors or page views.  Now and then I venture into the realm of statistics and look at how many people from Italy read what post for some random reason.  Mainly I just love writing what I want to write without any restrictions or an editor guiding my choice of post.

That said, I do love comments, I like to have a nice word written at the end of my posts.  Yesterday, a very kind person called @TheLucky27s complimented my blog on Twitter, he’s a Californian living in the UK so can relate to an expat blog.  I tweeted back asking if he had a blog I could follow.  His response was no, but he was thinking about it.

Well, clearly @TheLucky27s isn’t the sort of think about it for months kind of guy because this morning, I received a tweet with a link to his new blog. There is a fantastic first post describing his arrival at Heathrow with no knowledge about pounds and pence and the warning from his father that there would be pickpockets everywhere.

I hope you’ll go over to his blog and welcome him to the blogosphere and add it to your Reader.

Welcome CaliWaiting – I have a feeling you’re going to have a lot of fun with it!

The phone rang at 4am on Friday morning. It was a call from the City of Newport Beach warning that an earthquake had hit Japan and a tsunami was headed our way. It was our first experience of the emergency notification service. The message was very explanatory announcing that the tidal wave would only be a few feet high and there was no need to evacuate. We also have tsunami sirens. If it had been life threatening, the sirens would have sounded and signaled a clear indication that we should leave immediately.

We turned on the television to see the awful news of the devastation. It’s heartbreaking and my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone in Japan.

I find it fascinating that an event miles and miles away across a vast ocean can effect us in such a way.

It seemed silly to worry about a few feet of water when we could see the overwhelming amounts of water pounding Japanese communities.

At 6.30, the phone rang with a message that school had been cancelled – a tsunami day. The school is on the beach and they weren’t taking any chances. As the boys woke up, we explained that they had the day off school due to a tsunami. They had a look of fear until they realized it was just precautionary.

Watching the news made me realize how vulnerable we are. I haven’t got an earthquake preparedness kit tucked away. We live on a very flat piece of sand, a peninsula jutting out, a tsunami would roll across it taking everything in it’s path. It’s utterly terrifying. I plan to prepare a kit with water and food next week.

There are many ways to help support the victims of this disaster. I hope you can make a donation.

We may have woken to a frightening phone call but it really was more of a reality check. We live in a vulnerable place – and we need to be prepared.

Dear US Postal Service (and your staff),

Here’s a quick guide to the United Kingdom (AKA Great Britain, British Isles, UK or GB — yes, many names, and not all meaning the same thing).

If I’m sending a parcel to England, it’s England in Great Britain.  If I’m sending a parcel to Wales, it’s Wales in Great Britain.  Same for Scotland.

Great Britain is made up of England, Wales, Scotland. Those countries plus Northern Ireland come together to form the United Kingdom.  Imagine them as four states forming the USA.

When I bring in my parcel, neatly addressed to my friends in Wales, Great Britain and you write ENGLAND across the bottom, you are wrong.  And you make me look like an idiot.  I can just imagine what people must think – Ha! Lorna’s been in California so long she’s forgotten that Wales isn’t part of England!

And please don’t lecture me across the post office counter that I have addressed my parcel incorrectly.

I am from the United Kingdom, Great Britain, British Isles, UK or GB.  I know the name of my country and how to write it on a parcel.

Can you imagine if you were sending a parcel to Vermont and I wrote Vermont, NEW YORK on it?  Would that make sense? No.

So when I send a parcel to Wales or Scotland, please don’t write ENGLAND across the bottom.  And I beg of you, please listen to me when I try and tell you it’s wrong.  I’ve got that whole funny accent thing going on so maybe you should think I know what I’m talking about.

After all, I am both English and Welsh and from United Kingdom, Great Britain, British Isles, UK or GB.

Is that clear enough?

Yours truly,

Calif Lorna

Newport Beach,

California

NEW YORK



A family of Androids moved into our house a couple of weeks ago.  The boys have been studying their behaviour and cataloguing their every move.  The results are quite fascinating:

Rather surprisingly, Androids prefer the iPhone:

They are scared of piranhas:

Use a leash when taking their AT-ATs for a walk:

Prefer Xbox 360 to the Wii but still fight over the controllers:

Storm troopers are happy to protect them when they venture further a field:

Some Androids take their real estate exam…this one has just closed a sale on the Taj Mahal:

Exercise is important to the Android and the bike is the first choice of equipment:

They weren’t given shoes to wear but that doesn’t stop them from trying out new styles:

As their fame grows, so does the need to hide from the paparazzi

Of course, it’s Valentine’s Day…some Androids can’t resist it…they fall in love:

And hope one day it will be legal for them to marry.

Finally, Android bedtime: